It all began on a Monday night in the middle of July. I had spent the day in the final stages of my downsizing in preparing for my daughter Gina and her family to move into my house. I have this rental home in Mt. Pleasant, SC that I was planning on transitioning to around the middle of August. I had rewarded my hard days work with a sausage pizza at Taormina's and was sitting calmly in my chair watching television. I felt a tightness in my chest that was stronger than the sort of constraining feelings that I had been having for years. I became quite anxious and began to worry that my heart was rebelling against all of the lifting, shifting, packing, and moving of boxes during the past two months that I lovingly refer to as my period of downsizing. There is a list of all of the donations that I offered to Goodwill, the Salvation Army, and the Danbury Library, totaling in excess of $3500 in estimated donations using the low end of the price suggestions provided by Goodwill. Once the "Junk" company picked up my thee enormously heavy pieces of dining room and bedroom furniture, and the bulky and awkward king sized mattress and box springs, I began to feel relieved that this downsizing experiment was coming an end. But, downsizing has its consequences in addition to the feelings of separation as I threw out tons of "stuff" accumulated over the years. Gina had recently given birth to her third child in less than four years and they were in the midst of moving their "stuff" into my house, which would soon become their home with a space for me in the basement when I visited. I guess the stress had finally gotten to me and I was feeling it in my chest. I called 911 and started this path toward the surgery to repair my only slightly damaged but artery blocked heart. As the EMTs did their job and carted me off in the ambulance to Danbury Hospital, I knew that there were new decisions that would be made with regard to my move to Mt. Pleasant in the second week of August.
The Hospital I spent two nights and a day and a half in the hospital. The ambulance handed me over to the Danbury ER and I spent the next twelve hours there. My care was quite good. Gina arrived to check in on me. I offered up my blood for diagnostic purposes and rested off and on, but slept very little. I did a lot of thinking about how all of this was about to change my life. Nurses and doctors stopped by sporadically to update me on my blood tests and their conclusions. At first, I thought I might luck out and just be sent home, but my heart related enzyme levels were slightly elevated suggesting that I had some sort of heart event that needed further examination.
So, sometime around four in the morning, I was told that I would me checked into the hospital as soon as a bed opened up. It was about four hours later that I was moved into a regular hospital room. Shortly after, Dr. Fisher and his assisting crew arrived to check me out and informed me that they would soon do an angiogram to check my arteries. Within the hour I was in the operating room where Dr. Fisher and Dr. Wasserman attended to me. I was not asleep during the procedure, but it was hard to follow what was going on. The doctors talked more in a labeling code that made it difficult for me to understand exactly what was happening. They decided not to put stents in, but I had no idea at the time, why. I suspected they were finding blockages as I tried to interpret their coding language. They concluded their work and I returned to my room where I was later given an echocardiogram to determine the functioning of my heart. Early the next morning, the team convened again at the side and at the foot of my bed. Dr. Fisher informed that I had had a heart event, so my calling 911 was a justified action. He said I had two choices, by-pass surgery was one, and medication with follow up testing was the second. He recommended the second. He also said that I could be released to go home later in the day with instructions and an appointment for the follow up testing about six weeks out. I told him about my plans for SC and Wisconsin. He did not have an objection at the time, but I realized that I would have to make a choice about follow-up either in CT or SC. That would be decision that I would have to work out in the next two weeks. I had a follow-up meeting with Dr. Krichavsky a week later where we discussed all of my options. Thanks to Ann Whalen, I had the name of a cardiologist here in Charleston, and so with a couple of phone calls and visits to hospital records department at Danbury, I was able to forward my reports and data to Dr. Miller in Charleston. I also was able to schedule an appointment with him on August 16 to discuss next steps. The choice for me was clear, I would continue with my transition to living in Mt. Pleasant, SC according to schedule in early August. I was happy about that, but knew that I would have to be careful about loading the trailer with the tubs, boxes, and furniture. Thanks to Joe, we accomplished that task and I was on my way, August 7. TJ Van Thullenar and his son Ted helped me unload the trailer on August 14, and I was fully moved into 1602 Cullowhee Cir.
Although my time in the ER was lengthy at Danbury hospital, I thought I was cared for quite well. It became apparent to me that in the future I should have someone with me to validate what I was hearing from the doctor about my condition and specific solutions to the problems.
A Reflection Note: After all this, I tried to reduce my feelings to verse that I could share with my friends. Downsizing: A Musing
Thirty-six years of stuff Mostly things, clothing, and items Stuffed into bags or Hidden in storage corners, But evidence of creativity too In the form of framed photos, loose ones too, And pages of past educational efforts that Partially defined a career, now over.
The decision to discard or keep Causes brief, sometimes tense moments Of letting go. The benchmark becomes “Will I need it?” There are hard no’s and some maybes, And occasionally a save.
We fill a 3000 lb dumpster to the brim And still there is more There are trips to the dump and to Goodwill With newly discovered stuff Tucked neatly into closet corners. We use Facebook to attempt to sell the big items That may still have some value. The Salvation Army arrives with its picky policies And selects a significant amount of furniture But the very heavy bedroom set, The large two piece China closet, And the king mattress and box springs Remain behind. “Too many blemishes They say. I argue a bit, but lose. And so a Company with “Junk” in its name Carts off the unwanted furniture. At a cost that burns the wallet But extinguished, knowing that it is done. And yet, I am not finished. More trips to Goodwill and the dump Will level out my downsizing.
There is a feeling of permanency, But only a small sense of loss When the items of discard Move beyond last minute reprieves. As the space in my home becomes More empty, and echoes emerge I know that deep in my soul, Despite the catharsis of disposal, I have saved too much. I predict another round of discard, Sometime in the future by me Or my heirs. A minuscule proposition compared To what I have just experienced. An so piece of mind reigns At least for a short time.
Epilogue
Resting in a chair last Monday eve Thinking my work almost done, The middle of my chest felt some dull pain It persisted, so I called 911. It is now four days later Lots of vital-taking poking An angiogram in my past No stents to speak of, But new medications to conjure and manage. I am home.
My plans are still in place For a transition to SC A Madison visit and then back to SC Age is an absolute determiner So, it is tenuous to predict what lies ahead. My hope is to just "keep on moving." And continue to discover the beauty In this world And lay aside The blight of the daily news My wish for you too.
My Charleston Heart Team
I arrived in Mt. Pleasant on August 9. The drive was long and I concluded that I would look to flying for future trips North and to the Midwest. In the meantime, I have attached myself to two heart doctors located at Roper Hospital in Charleston and I like both of them very much. I met Dr. Gregory Miller, my cardiologist, on August 16. He is a congenial man, tall and thin. He spent over an hour with me discussing my medical history as well as my personal experiences. I was by myself when I met with him, but we talked about the blockages in my arteries and options available to me. He scheduled a follow-up echocardiogram the following week. Following the "Echo," He called me on the phone and discussed my options. He told me that in addition to the blockages, I had an evolving issue with my aortic valve that may need replacement. He recommended that I move ahead with surgery and referred me to Dr. John Spratt for a meeting. I met with Dr. Spratt on Sept. 10 with my cousin Barbara along as an extra set of ears. After another review of my past medical and personal history, Dr. Spratt explained how the operation works in great detail. He thought he might have to do another Cath procedure to clearly identify the blockages. However, he was able to read the images and the information from Danbury Hospital well enough to determine that a repeat of the Cath was not necessary. He told me that putting stents in was not workable for me because of blockages in five arteries. He also was not sure about replacing the Aortic Valve, but we mutually agreed that he would make that decision at the time of the operation based on a test he will do prior to beginning the by-pass surgery. He indicated that because of the healthy nature of my heart, it is important to do the surgery soon and not wait for several months or longer. I left the meeting with Dr. Spratt feeling comfortable with him as my surgeon and confident that I have two heart doctors here in Charleston that can help restore my heart.
The week of September 10 was filled with anxiety over the track of Hurricane Florence and whether we were going to suffer any of its wrath. The bottom line was that any next steps for my operation would not occur until after the storm. On September 18, I received a call from Heather, Dr. Spratt’s assistant, who told me that I did not need the preliminary Cath and that we could schedule the operation. Knowing that a mid October date would be best for Gina and her family and that Lynn could possibly come down in early November, we scheduled the date for October 16. That means that I should hopefully be back to normal by Christmas after initial recovery and rehabilitation efforts following the operation. As I write, the operation is less than three weeks away. I am still walking and playing pickle ball and hope to do so right up to the operation. I purchased a HurryCane today from Amazon to help me with getting around at home after the operation, although I hope to spend a week or two in rehab facility to take the burden off of anyone having to help at home.
So there it is, an up to date summary of my preparation for addressing my heart issues. My hope is to continue this process after the operation as a reflection on another phase of my life.
Reflection of Pre-Operation Meeting on October 2 at Roper Hospital
My cousin Barb and I attended my pre-op meeting at Roper Hospital on October 2. It was most informative, if not a bit anxiety producing. We received a very thorough booklet describing all aspects of the operation and recovery. Our host then orally and visually presented us with a summary of the information for about an hour. We were able to ask questions whenever we wanted and the tone of the meeting was very supportive and encouraging.
Needless to say, I am extremely nervous about this upcoming invasion of my insides on October 16, but I am resigned to the fact that I do not have much choice. I am not looking forward to the time in the hospital or the recuperating time that I will have to spend over the next 2 months. It will be close to Christmas before I will be able to resume my normal life of walking at the senior center and gliding across the pickle ball courts of Mt. Pleasant. I will have support from my friends and family through this process, but does not tamper down my feelings of anxiety. I hope to chronicle my journey through this process over the next couple of months with narrative, poetry, and an occasional photo that gives meaning to my reflections.
A Poetic Interlude: Sunday, October 7
It is 10 days and counting to my Appointment with the heart’s knife. I wake in the mornings With trepidation and fear So much can go wrong Though I am told the odds are small The recovery seems overwhelming Both in time and commitment Will be there aftermath pain? Can my old body tolerate The days in hospital and rehab? Will I embarrass myself as a patient? Can I fill the time with meaning? What will I be on the other side? Friends say all will be fine; I will feel like a new person, Ready to expand my efforts in pickle ball, More willing to volunteer in a helpful way, Finding purpose in the the time ahead, Having patience for my family. Of course, this is what I hope. I have great support here in Mt. Pleasant And from my family too. A little faith, A dose of hope, And a cup of love Are my medications. So breathe deeply Jay And make it an adventure.
Post Operation
Renewal
Roper Hospital: The Event
For 3 weeks I waited And pondered the by pass. What might happen on the table? Will the surgeon fix my aortic valve? With the stuff of a bovine? How long will I be under? Can I handle the afterglow- Hospital, Rehab, Home With a no driving order And the time for learning What I can do and cannot do. Oct 16 arrived and I was prepared Arrival at 5:30 AM Shaved of my body hair by 6:30 A reassuring talk with my anesthesiologist, Dr. Sherman The slow drip of my sleeping potion The wheeling in around 7 AM Then nothing until awakening in the PM In the meantime, Dr. Spratt created Six by pass arteries, installed my Bovine valve and sewed me up with care. I am told that I said some things when I woke up Nothing too embarrassing. A comment about Terry being with me A mammery glan joke About my loss of the ability To breast feed caused a few smiles, I am told.
Roper Hospital: The Afterglow
I truly thought, I’d remember The ICU, but there is little To resurrect from that first 18 hours of Afterglow However,I have vivid memories Of the Next six days in my Room On the 3rd Floor. I was hooked up to all kinds of tubes For draining and peeing. Lying flat on My back was the only option in bed But getting out of bed and beginning to walk Were high on the todo list. I quickly began to use the walker with Assistance, but soon was able to navigate the Red arrowed marked hall several times a day. My nurses and aids were the best All were great, but Morgan, Katie, and Teedo were special Miss Julie helped me navigate my journeys Beyond the bed. All were respectful of my privacy, attentive to my needs And knowledgeable to a fault. I had 3 visits from Dr Spratt who answered my questions And then it was Monday and time to to move on to Franke, A rehab place which was a bit touch and go, but eventually The insurance we verified and I had a room. Just as I became very familiar with Roper, I now had to Adjust to a new place With new nurses and new procedures. Just one more challenge in the recovery process.
Franke: Transition to Home
I arrived late Monday morning My room at the end of the hall Shared with a roommate Who I never really talked with Our space was divided by a wall Shared with a single bathroom. But it felt like a single room Because the bathroom was Usually always mine to use. Adjusting to new routines and new nurses Caused me concern the first day, But those concerns disappeared By Day 2 Thanks to nurses like Nicole And later Karen. They were my two favorites But Kevin, Harris, Brittany, and Tracey Were attentive and supportive. Their workload was heavy And managing it a challenge, But they all did in their own ways. My comfort level with Franke also climbed Beginning with dinner the first night I saw Frieda sitting by herself at the back table We were joined by Liz and Anne And later by Lynne and Billy. We ate all of our meals together At the same table, morning, noon and night. It was a social event that I looked forward to. The purpose of Franke Rehab is to prepare you for home. They did exactly with that. The OT, Josh, moved me from walker To cane and gave me instructions for surviving at home. The PTs, Missie and Bev pushed me on the exercises that Would renew my strength in legs and arms. I met with Cara the neutritionist and heard her suggestions: Mediterranean Diet and low sodium, always read the labels. I met once with Dr. Kleckley and I followed up In making him my Primary Doctor here in the south. Kassie is the assistant director I call her the “Hello” Director and then moves on. I wanted to talk with her more and absorb some Of her enthusiasm, but she was an elusive shooting star. I thrived at Franke, thanks to all of these fine people. I was ready to go home on Monday, October 29 Where my sister, Lynn, would supervise me For Week Three post op.
A Week with Sister Lynn
My sister, Lynn, graciously came for a visit During my first week at home. Fortunately, I could pretty much take care of me. However, having her as company was great, If not exasperating at times. Her “support” was bolstered by home visits from Tina (PT) and Kim (Nurse) Who asked me questions walked with me, took my vitals, Gave me added medical comfort They recommended walks and things to avoid. Lynn, too, had several suggestions for me That I as the older brother disregarded. But she drove me places and we had a good time A couple of trips to the beach with follow-up beverages At the Refuge were fun. One day we drove to Charleston. Lunch at Henry’s followed by a tour of the the Market was Also fun, if you can forget the fact that Lynn Dropped her phone in the backseat of the car. What was funny was that she went into Henry’s And asked the waitress to call her number. In the meantime I had called the phone number And heard a faint beeping on the floor of the back seat. I picked up the ringing phone and there was the waitress On the other end. She asked who I was and I said the brother May not seem funny now, but it was then. All in all, the week was sort of a vacation for Lynn since taking care Of me was minimal. She appeared to have a good time. Early Sunday morning, she was off to Highland Park. She played an important role in my road to recovery I hope she will come for another visit in March. Now it was my turn to engineer my recovery on my own With the support of Tina my PT and Kim my nurse. And some wonderful friends to keep me occupied.
My Week “Alone”
And now for a week alone Oh! I had things to do To keep me busy, but this was the test Could I take care of myself, completely? Lynn left early Sunday morning Football kept me busy for the day But there was no car to tool around in I had another week to go. Monday came and went, But Tuesday was walking day And thanks to Lezlie, I had a ride I walked about a half mile with the group And then waited patiently for coffee I was home by 9 and welcomed Tina And then later Kimberly, my home visit checks. It all went well. Kim said I would be done on Nov. 14. Mark Fitzpatrick picked me up on Wednesday AM For my first visit to Bible Study at St. Michaels, downtown. I met Berrien and George and experienced The camaraderie of men discussing the Bible. It was a good beginning and I ordered my Bible From Amazon with a two day delivery. There was no walking on Thursday, But my dear friends from the senior center Pushed me in a wheel chair around The Festival of the Lights At James Island County Park It was a misty evening, but we did not get wet. Maureen and Ben shared the pushing duties And I attempted to take some photos, But the clarity was just not there. We navigated the two miles in about an hour’s time. Cousin Barb took me shopping on Friday morning, Followed by lunch at the Dog and Duck with Barb and Ann. And I accompanied Ann to the Apple Store For setting up her new watch. I spent the rest of Friday quietly at home. Saturday and Sunday I was on my own Except for Mass with Ann at St. Benedict’s Followed by a hamburger at Dog and Duck. Sunday came and I ventured out to breakfast In my car for the first time in four weeks It was a preliminary test for the anticipated Driving approval from Dr. Spratt on Monday. The drive went well, the breakfast was delicious And then a day of football. And so my week alone was over And impending freedom beckoned With my Doctors’ visits on Monday and Tuesday. Was it possible that I had navigated The operation, rehab, and home recovery With the hope that the coming week would Be a return to normalcy?
Week Five: Freedom
My meeting with Dr. Spratt went well Progress is good, for being only a month out. Yes, I can drive today and Cardiac rehab is to come. Tuesday is Tina at home with a walk Nancy at Dr. Miller’s Everything is good, my medications renewed And then a second Wednesday at St. Michael’s Genesis summarized beautifully by Fr. Al. We talk estrangement Uncomfortable discussion about my first wife On way home. Not sure what I was after. Breakfast with the guys at Waffle House, A nice little happening, beginning. Walked a 22 minute mile later in the day. A walk on the beach onThursday in the windy cold Allergies causing their discomfort Friday at Startbucks with more to come. And now it is Sunday, allergies still abound Coughing is effecting chest, but not sure if I should call yet.
There is a Time for Cardiac Rehab
So beginning after Thanksgiving, it was my turn For Cardiac Rehab, three times a week At Roper Hospital in Charleston My new coaches, Shannon, Brian, Monica, Stephan and Christie set my path For 8 weeks to come 3 times per week Three machines, four 10 minute sessions Some 8 pound weights And later 10 and 12 pounds. All that time to reflect. I finished the task with flying colors And continued on to the Sr. Center For continued fitness and fun.
I am a fortunate soul In that I had good doctors and nurses At a very fine hospital called Roper, With excellent follow up care From family and service providers. I am most grateful for them all.